Monday, January 22, 2007

Absolutely, unexpected beauty!






Whoever thought, on the first day this year that it has really become cold that we would have a visitor in our bedroom. I went in to use the computer and there on the windowsill was a: BUTTERFLY! And an incredibly beautiful one! What a gift! I'll have to look up just what kind it is. The only thought, should I put it back outside...it will go below freezing by the end of the day and the rest of the week!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Wind

(These were the top wind speeds from the storm "Kyrill" as you can see Frankfurt is in a protected area between mountains, so we were relatively safe)
I read an article yesterday about the saddest time of the year and it reminded me as well of a conversation I had with a friend about ten years ago. My friend Kathleen suffered from depression and told me that the wind really made her angry and depressed. I was surprised, for me the wind energized me. Then, she found a scientific article that talked about the wind making our skins produce a chemical to protect it, in some people it causes a sense of happiness to euphoria and in others a terrible sense of depression. The wind in the storm this time did cause mostly sadness, there were many people injured and some killed throughout Germany and Europe. Back to the article, according to researchers the saddest day of the year is January 24th. This is due to the still continuing dark winter days, the "Post-Christmas-Blues", family tensions, credit card bills and the collapse of our New Year resolutions! I think the best advice there is, is to look up, it will lift our spirits. As Helen Keller said: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you can't see the shadow." Or one that even like better is an old Chinese proverb: "You can't stop the birds of sadness flying over you, but don't let them nest in your hair." Good advice!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

In the middle of the storm!

WOW! What a storm today. Here in Germany it is being called a monster-storm and they have given it the name "Kyrill"...sounds like some monster from a Sci-Fi movie. The wind is really howling and roaring outside right now! Nothing I've ever seen since I've lived here. During the whole day I was amazed and a bit frightened by the power of it. I couldn't ride my bike to work this morning and so I took the train, which wobbled back and forth on the tracks form the forcse of the gusts. I heard that the trains are being kept at lower speeds and the bullet trains are going at 100 kph less than usual. Then, coming home for lunch I saw the usual outdoor market with its trailers and stands and one of them had blown over and they closed the market many hours earlier than usual. And I saw as I walked along the pedestrian zone some large stores had put out signs that they were closing at three because of it. All afternoon there have been sirens and loud noises without stop. On Thursdays I only work in the morning, so this afternoon I had the opportunity to meditate two more times. It was interesting to be aware of the loud roar of the wind and all the other noises and feel the uncomfortable feeling of fear and worry rise up. Then, this late afternoon, in all that noise I could hear the usual ringing of the church bells around the city center. It was a lovely feeling...something familiar and usual in all that cacaphony of growling chaos. Now the wind is not so scary!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

And also a nice memory from last week

Getting ready to go snowshoeing
There I am up in the snow
and my partner Marc
And a Buddha statue in the little tiny town of Hirschegg in Kleinwalsertal in the Alps...this was a nice surprise to see in front of the health food store there...found some great local organic cheese and raspberry lassi!

Bubble Thoughts

I was cleaning about my bike bag and took out the little black book I was given as a birthday present when I first moved here to Germany. It was fun to look through, as I had forgotten that whenever short little "poetic" ideas came I scribbled them in the book. Usually, I was underway on my bike and wrote them quickly at stoplights along the way or stopped along the river to jot them down. So, here are some of them...and I think I'll take this habit up again...I'm constantly having little bubble thoughts that pop up.

sigh---
relief
again
buds break from branches
Earth’s genorosity---
and the thanks?

21.III.2001

tomb and womb
only a difference of
one letter!

25.III.2001

monkish thoughts
then cool morning
spring breeze---
hyacinth---
flesh!

27.III.2001

a pear’s broken skin,
softer than an apple,
torn, an accident,
bled on this book.
how long will this sweetness
endure?

29.III.2001

the willows heavy with rain
and even proud oaks
bowed in supplication for
sun

IV.2001


joy is melancholy’s shadow
silent, unnoticed
following behind
faintly touching our heels.

IV.2001

have. have not.
mixed unevenly.
left to simmer,
slowly boil.
careful it doesn’t
rise to the rim.
Spill over.
Hate.
4.IV.2002

Sunday, January 14, 2007






Outside the window, the mountain is heavy with mist, only dark outlines and its peak keep it from disappearing, letting us know it is still there. It is as if the fog has taken the whole world away and me with it. I sit looking out, feeling the weight. Doubt is heavy. Doubt is dark. The question keeps rising, just as the mist from the valley, and it envelopes me: is the path that I'm following, really right for me? Was taking the Precepts the right choice in life? But within all that is heavy and dark, there is lightness. This is living in the opposites. This is where one finds The Way.
The wind rises and the laden white strands are whirled and whisked away to different sides and more of the mountain can be seen and it picks up light from the sun. Again an opening: It is right; it is ALL right. Bright faith rises for a moment, there is certainty, there is a lightness. The sky, the mountain and I open up. The air can be breathed again.
But again the fog may rise from the deep valley or clouds settle in from the sky. As it has the past few days. Everything will seem to be lost from view again. Eyes blind, doubts rising. a thought: remain like the mountain, for it never really disappears. Obscured but solid, I'll learn to sit. Again, it is only the mist and wind that move, not the mountain. Heavy, laden with doubt: pure meditation must be done.
The sun sets, unnoticed in deep grey winter evenings. Night falls. Heavy. Stars appear. Light. Light rises. I sit.
There is Truth in all this.
Pure meditation must be done.
Sit like the mountain, even when the doubts come!


The rest of the time in the Alps was filled with delight, feeling a deeper sense of my practice, feeling more open to That Which is. How wonderful, I have become a bit more like the mountain and less like the wind and mist.